![]() This was our son, and although his tiny body no longer held life within it, I was going to protect him in the only way I could, which meant anyone who held him would do so with care. I’m usually not the type of person to demand anything from anyone, but this situation was entirely different. We made it very clear to the nursing staff that Matthew was to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. In those few seconds, the bond with my son took root and grew. His tiny body fit into one hand, with room to spare. I’ll never forget the feeling of my wife placing Matthew’s body, now wrapped in a small piece of cloth, in my hands. My pain was intense, but the feeling that my heart had been ripped out of my chest couldn’t have compared to the pain my wife felt.īut then, we were given a gift many moms and dads never receive: We were given the chance to hold our baby. Today, I think back and wonder if that’s how Mary, Jesus’ mother, felt as she watched her Son suffer and die-knowing there was nothing she could do. I don’t recall feeling such dread before in my life. He had only been in her womb for 14 weeks, which wasn’t long enough for him to survive outside of her womb. Early on the morning of Wednesday, September 3, Deanna delivered our baby boy, Matthew Sean. As much as we willed to keep our baby, over the next two days it became apparent it wasn’t going to happen. Our storm began on August 31, with signs that something was wrong with our pregnancy. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, and now our little baby had grown from just a cell to the size of a piece of fruit-so small, but so loved. We did what most expectant couples do: We tracked the baby’s size, thought of names, and started decorating his or her room. My wife and I were expecting our first baby. Not only did I need that message myself-I needed it that day. I figured it was a “cute” theme for a retreat, and while I believed in that Gospel’s message, it was a theme that was meant for those attending the retreat, not for the retreat master. I never thought I would need that message. They weathered the storm by keeping their focus on Jesus. Then, in the rear of the boat, there’s a group sitting with Jesus, and these men are completely calm-even though they’re in the same storm-tossed boat. First, there’s a group of disciples panicking as they try to save the boat. In this painting, you see two groups of disciples. This story is depicted well in Rembrandt’s The Storm on the Sea of Galilee, a print of which was shown to the retreatants. He then calms the storm and calms their fears. Jesus awakens from sleep to find His disciples frightened and panicked. ![]() In that Gospel, we read that Jesus is in a boat with His disciples and the boat is being tossed about in a storm. Its theme was “The Storm at Sea,” and I incorporated the story we find in Saint Mark’s Gospel (4:35–41). I was wrapping up a retreat I directed that weekend. My answer came on Sunday, August 31, 2008. But if you live 100 miles inland, is it possible to still be battered in a “storm at sea”? Everyone who lives on the East Coast knows that tropical storms and hurricanes can suddenly make a calm summer fierce.
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